Why do so many people feel free to tell a complete stranger their most personal details? If I have to hear another gall bladder attack and/or surgery story I'll scream. I don't know what a gall bladder is and I want to keep it that way. Maybe if I don't acknowledge mine it won't attack me. So now I have to worry about organs I've never heard of? It's enough to worry about popular flashy ones like heart and lungs etc. You know how it is, you are trapped at the grocery store or worse your chair at work and someone is going on and on about gross medical procedures. Even worse when they are telling you about their relatives medical issue. Does your cousin really want me to know all about his diverticulitis? Speaking of diverticulitis, what the hell is that anyway? I can remember my Grandma Mary saying diverticulitis when I was little. The sound of it made me laugh. It can't be that bad of a disease because she said it out loud. She stage-whispered words that were bad or controversial. Things like "he's got cancer", "she married a catholic" or "that family is full of divorce". Maybe Grandma had partly the right idea. Maybe we should not "Maury Povich" our whole lives for everyone to see. I am not saying we should stop talking about cancer or exchanging valuable information but maybe we could use a little discretion. My Grandma Ruby would have been horrified at some of the Facebook/Myspace photos I have had the displeasure of gazing upon. I didn't know cousin Ralph had so many piercings. MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!!
My next favorite over-friendly behavior is the question you don't want to answer. "Why don't you have any children?" "How old are you?" "Have you had this or that disgusting medical test or disease?"or the dreaded "How much do you weigh?" Maybe I should answer how I want to? "I eat babies", "Clearly I am younger than you","I have at least ten colonoscopies(sp) a month and I film them" finally "What the f**k did you just ask me, freak?" Seriously, don't ask me how much I weigh cause I will cut you man.
So the next time you feel the burning desire to tell someone all about your hemorrhoids, leaky bladder , raging diarrhea or the birthing of babies stop and think WWJAD. What Would Jane Austen Do? She would say "I've been ill" no details. Better yet smile and say "Hello".
Thanks for reading. Now I'm off to the drugstore for some rash cream.
Many times I've been introduced to someone that in the first five minutes tell me about their major medical conditions. I'm glad they immediately think of me as a personal confidant but it's not really what I was after by asking "How are you?"
ReplyDeleteI personally don't have a problem with it probably because it's part of my profession to listen to the intimate details of peoples lives, including illnesses. I sort of actually like to hear about stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteWe have a cousin named Ralph?
ReplyDelete