Polite vs Friendly

Why do so many people feel free to tell a complete stranger their most personal details? If I have to hear another gall bladder attack and/or surgery story I'll scream. I don't know what a gall bladder is and I want to keep it that way. Maybe if I don't acknowledge mine it won't attack me. So now I have to worry about organs I've never heard of? It's enough to worry about popular flashy ones like heart and lungs etc. You know how it is, you are trapped at the grocery store or worse your chair at work and someone is going on and on about gross medical procedures. Even worse when they are telling you about their relatives medical issue. Does your cousin really want me to know all about his diverticulitis? Speaking of diverticulitis, what the hell is that anyway? I can remember my Grandma Mary saying diverticulitis when I was little. The sound of it made me laugh. It can't be that bad of a disease because she said it out loud. She stage-whispered words that were bad or controversial. Things like "he's got cancer", "she married a catholic" or "that family is full of divorce". Maybe Grandma had partly the right idea. Maybe we should not "Maury Povich" our whole lives for everyone to see. I am not saying we should stop talking about cancer or exchanging valuable information but maybe we could use a little discretion. My Grandma Ruby would have been horrified at some of the Facebook/Myspace photos I have had the displeasure of gazing upon. I didn't know cousin Ralph had so many piercings. MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!!

My next favorite over-friendly behavior is the question you don't want to answer. "Why don't you have any children?" "How old are you?" "Have you had this or that disgusting medical test or disease?"or the dreaded "How much do you weigh?" Maybe I should answer how I want to? "I eat babies", "Clearly I am younger than you","I have at least ten colonoscopies(sp) a month and I film them" finally "What the f**k did you just ask me, freak?" Seriously, don't ask me how much I weigh cause I will cut you man.

So the next time you feel the burning desire to tell someone all about your hemorrhoids, leaky bladder , raging diarrhea or the birthing of babies stop and think WWJAD. What Would Jane Austen Do? She would say "I've been ill" no details. Better yet smile and say "Hello".

Thanks for reading. Now I'm off to the drugstore for some rash cream.

Am I your honey?

Honey, sweetie, dear, baby. When is a pet name offensive to YOU? For me pet names are fine when the person addressing me is someone I know and presumably like. I also don't mind it from a waitress or someone helping me in a store. If the waitress at Smiley's doesn't call me honey something is horribly wrong. The problem is when it comes from a a person I feel is condescending and trying "put me in my place". How do tell when he or she is sincere or trying to belittle? Am I just being an over sensitive whinging jerk? It's not that I want to be called your royal highness. But somehow sometimes poorly placed "honey"just pisses me off. When do I use pet names? My husband and any children under the age of say 14. No one else. It just feels wrong.

Can we each make our own rules? What is sexist language? Is it ok for a woman to call a man honey? How about woman to woman? What do I do about it when it offends me? Sometimes a return, "ok then sweetie" will work other times a plain "my name is Beowolf" works. Here is where I have trouble working out what to do. What if the offender is my customer? Yikes! I would never call a customer honey. Is ok for him but not for me? I don't want someone telling my boss I am snotty but then again don't I have the right to be addressed by strangers in my place of business with respect? I picked up a book at my local library this week and was glad to see the librarian had a name tag that said Mrs. So and So. No excuse for calling her honey. What about coworkers? At a previous job my boss called me a broad several times. I liked it!! Why wasn't I offended? Was it our fun and funny faux adversarial relationship? I believe I referred to him with another name starting with a B. What fun we had.

I also have trouble dealing with the whole girl thing. What is wrong the word girl? Nothing if you are an actual girl. I am 38 years old, I own a home, I am married and I have a college degree. I am not a girl. I am a woman and a person. For all the Little Britain fans ("But I'm a lady you see"). Would I refer to a 38 year old man as a boy? Absolutely not! Are men offended with dude or bro? Guy doesn't sound so bad but the equivalent gal is kind of cheesy. Gal makes me think of a rodeo. So how does it work man to man?

What are the rules? What are your opinions?

see you chicks later